Monday, January 14, 2008

I'm So High!!

Well, one resolution of the New Year is already out the window. I'm bloody drunk right now, deleting and backspacing again to pretend that I'm not as drunk as I am...and I have no idea right now how much I am succeeding at that. Maybe I'll double check in the morning...when the hangover wears off. I'll also have to check how much I've hurt myself...when I tried carrying my cousin from the car to back home on the bed and fell down, because I can't feel the pain yet. And I'll also have to check how much of a fool did I make of myself in front of all the people...and in a counter-view, figure out why I did all of that. But right now I feel GOOD....despite knowing that a hell of a lot of trouble will follow tomorrow, or rather today morning...and that is why I'm I can be up and out before anybody else takes it out on me. If I sleep I'm in hell of a lot of trouble. But right now this moment...I feel light...and I'm writing...which is a first...never been drunk and written before. And this could be a collector's item...cause tomorrow morning I could take down this post declaring is at totally nonsensical. But right now I feel so damn GOOD!! :)'s a quote...from me of course...In retrospect all good times seem to be embarrassing at some point in the future..and minimum usage of accessories is recommended while being stoned in a high velocity vehicle...because things can go really wrong!!

And I'm off tomorrow....a Monday!! :P

And I love you all...I'm drunk remember?!! ;)

Friday, January 4, 2008

Thou Shalt Read This!!

Well, the new year's eve has come and gone. The first hangover of the new year has faded away. Surprisingly the mobile networks didn't get jammed up in the midnight hour...and all the mails and texts have been replied to, rather unimaginatively, I should add. (Got this one mail saying "2007 was great for me as I got married to the love of my life...hope it was same for you. If not, hope 2008 will be better"...Wtf??). And now to get to resolutions...I'm not sure if I stuck to the one I made last year..but that's not stopping me from making new ones. And you poor souls have to undergo the treacherous task of foraying through them. And since I have this weird habit of passing of really idiotic ideas for creativity...they're in the form of The Ten Commandments (Yeah..same as the bible...modified, of course!! ). Ten whole resolutions get out while you can....don't say I didn't warn you!! And in spirit of sharing that goes with the festive season, I left an extra commandment as the heading for this post...just for you. And let's get started...

Pretty much self-explanatory....I will not let anybody make me jealous or get me down. The IIM-A grad friend who's three month paycheck will equal my annual renumeration, the dork in the mall with the oh-so-hot girlfriend, the bloggers ( people are here too) whose lives seem to be much more happening than mine, the cousin with his I-phone, the dog who lazes around at home all day, the guy who gets the larger slice of pizza, etc. etc....I will not be jealous or envy anyone of them. Nobody gets me down this new year. And in return (call it more of a payback!!) I'll try and do more things that make other people jealous...I know it's kinda mean, but there's some gratification in that....*evil grin*

I need a more "happening" social life. After years of hanging around with the same bunch of people, I've realized this once they started moving out of town. I need more friends....and more importantly I need to keep these new friends around, give them a chance before declaring them weird in some way and forgetting about them. And also...I need to get to more girl friends...uhhh...let me re-phrase that, friends who belong to the female of the species, because there are some things you just can't get a guy to talk sensibly about, specially advice...n if I knew more girls I could've gone to one of those couples only New year bashes. (Any interested and interesting people, I think there's a contact me in my profile....although if you do contact me I'd think of you as a weirdo...but I'll try and go beyond that.)

I'm thinking it's about time I gave something back to the society...hence, the commandment. I'll not jump traffic lights when the traffic cops are around, I won't drink and drive while using public transportation, I will not litter if there are bins in a ten meter vicinity, I will get into queues for other reasons than trying to impress girls, I will spread not getting into any fights, because in all probability they end up with me paying the doc a no road-rage, no abusing people I don't know, no drunken brawls...might as well as run for President...

Six packs seem to be "in". Metro sexy has been "in" for much longer. And if that's what's in.. I've been out of loop. So it's makeover time. Go to the salon for more than just the monthly hair cut, take care of my skin, shave everyday, take an hour to pick out what I'm gonna wear, coordinated clothing and all, manicured finger nails, acting like a sissy et all...I'm going for not shaving off my chest cause I've no plans of taking of my shirt in public anytime soon and ogling at your own body in front of the mirror falls under my definition of "perversive"...and there aren't any beaches in Delhi anyways. And I heard in this interview that SRK went ten days without food before the "Dard-E-Disco" shoot...and the chances of me starving myself like that are worse than odds of hell freezing over, so I dropped that out of the list. I'll be fit...I'll try not get a stroke eating all the burgers n fries. And I'll take the stairs to work...when the power's out and the back-up fails as well.

I still have to figure this one out. But I've been asked to do that a lot lately...well meant advices of course. I'll be myself (that surely means I won't change one bit..which is kinda against the motive here)...and I'll write for myself ( Yeah...I'm not writing for you!! Thpbthfffbb!!!)
*The weird word is me sticking my tongue out btw...pretty immature, I know..refer to Commandment no. 9.

I can picture my dad reading this and nodding his head in agreement. And as I learned from is a funny lil' can always find more ways to spend it than you can find of earning it. And there's always more to buy. So I need to work out a plan to manage my money. Get a financial planner, Hire a few accountants, invest in funds, ride the Sensex ride, prove DNA linkage to Bill Gates' inheritance, rob a bank...whatever comes first..It's all about money, honey!!
*Money makes people jealous....refer Commandment no. 1.
**More money, more friends...refer Commandment no. 2.
***Money fuels travel plans...refer Commandment no. 7.
****Money'll pay for makeover...refer Commandment no. 4...Jeez!!

After a rather slow year...'08 will be the year of the traveling nomad (Ahem!! That's me...). I plan to get some traveling done in the new year and since my financial plans* don't really allow me much luxury to explore the world...I'll explore our amazing country...and if it's worse I'll explore Delhi. Either ways I'm clocking some miles. And traveling always makes for interesting reading and conversation topics.**
*Refer Commandment no. 6.
**Traveling to amazing places makes people jealous...refer Commandment no.1. And u make friends...that's no. 2.

No..I'm not giving up drinking or anything. I'll not get high means I won't do it in the amateur-ish way I did it earlier. No more impromptu jigs, loud singing and cursing. I'll get'll just be more subtle and sophisticated...Cheers!!

This means all you poor people are stuck with me for another year...and it gets worse, I'm going to be more regular, say a post a week or something, so there's more of me that you gotta bear. 52 posts of incoherent crazy thoughts...maybe more...probably less. Let's see...Oh!! And I'll write being myself and more maturely...whatever that means..

This one's a mixed bag....there were just too many things!! Thou shalt mind your own business, Thou shalt not make personal remarks on the blog, Thou shall floss every night, Thou shall get the bloody tattoo you always wanted, Thou shall love your work...or grin and bear it, Thou shall go to sleep at a saner time than 4 in the morning, Thou shall get your head checked, Thou shalt refrain from rambling on, Thou shall post smaller posts, Thou shalt buy me a large cheese dip pizza from Domino's..hey!! who wrote that in my draft??!!..Thou shall make a smaller list, Thou shall find something better to do.....

P.S. : The above statements are liable to change at any moment without prior notice and are not legally binding...Happy New Year everybody!!