Cooking is an art. I am not an artist.
Now most people would've left it at that an got on with their lives. But, as the legend goes, Kenny never gives up without a fight, specially when his food is at stake...because he has a lot of free time. In my honest opinion cooking as an art form has a lot of advantages over its contemporaries. You don't need to be naturally talented for it, if you have enough flair and enough practice, you can be just as good. You don't need an audience to appreciate or judge your work, as long as your taste-buds are in perfect condition. You don't have to be totally original, and your masterpieces have a great repeat value....who would mind having a sumptuous meal week after week? And, like with all art forms, I've found over time that cooking can be an excellent conversation starter with the ladies. ( Ok kiddos!! Take notes...firstly the women are intrigued by men who have dared venture into what's mostly termed as their domain - namely "the kitchen". Two, brush up on the basic cooking jargon but don't try to pass yourself off as an expert...because if you're not you WILL be found out. Three, try talking about this dish you've been trying but hasn't worked out for some reason...read up about the dish from a cookbook before you do that...and the women, nice people that they are, always like to help out. And they also like the fact that you're willing to admit that you're doing something wrong...one thing they think most men lack. So you score extra brownie points for that!!)
Anyways, the topic's art of cooking and not flirting so without further distractions. Cooking has always appealed to the curious side of me, whether it was helping out my mum in the kitchen as a 7 year old and wondering in awe as the seemingly normal ingredients came together to form all those dishes. Or as a teenager when the kitchen was my favorite experimental lab during summer holidays. But then moving out of house, in the last six years I never really got around to get myself to cook again. That is until a normal Saturday, which would've gone with the usual routine of takeaway food and eating joints. But fate had other plans...as rummaging through my closet I came face to face with the only cookery book I've ever bought ( I was feeling kinda bad for the salesman at this bookstore where I'd spent a good two hours going through the comic books...so I'd picked up a book on 'Italian Cooking' on my way out. ) As I sat there flipping through the pages I came across this illustration...and I knew that was what I HAD to have for lunch. There was this feeling i can't really explain. Ok, for the guys I can try to term an analogy...remember when as hormone ravaged teenagers we used to flip to the centerfold of our "dirty" mags and look at the model and wonder, dumb-struck in our awe, what those boobs would feel like?? We couldn't put it in words because none of us really knew...but we knew it had to be awesome!! That's the feeling I'm talking about. And girls...after that example I'm sure you must be thanking your stars that I'm not gonna try and think one out for you too.
So there I was, seduced by " Pasta Amatriciana". So after a short trip to the mart I was ready to begin. I had the ingredients, I had my recipe, I had my beer to accompany the meal...what could possibly go wrong?? And exactly an hour and a half later I learn the following things :
- The extra seasoning of a dash of human blood you involuntarily add to the list of ingredients while chopping onions doesn't really help the flavor. It doesn't do your finger any good either...
- The kitchen is a mystical place in another dimension where all logics of time and measurement cease to exist. The chef's 15 minutes seemed much shorter than my 15 minutes. The chef's recipe's for serving four, I figure I'll make enough for two and halve the ingredients...doesn't add up!!
- When you come across some fancy sounding term that you don't understand, don't go "Ooohhh!! Big Italian chef with all his bloody fancy lingo!!" Big mistake. Go through the glossary at the end or look them up on the net. It's better than eating something raw or over cooked or just plain miserable.
- Stick to the rules. If it's your first time cooking, this is not the place you want to let the rebel in you out. Since your entire digestive system is at stake, you'll see the sense in that. You can leave the experimentation for later.
- If in the end it doesn't turn out well, blame the Mr. Big-shot Italian cook in his big fancy Italian kitchen, drinking Italian wine with his hot Italian wife. Probably drives a Ferrari too. Grrrr.....I so hate that guy!!
At the end of it, I was staring at a plate of what looked to me like the "evil twin" of the dish I'd ran into earlier in the picture. Maybe it lacks the looks, maybe it has a beautiful inner soul...the spiritualist in me says. Wrong again.
Cooking is an art. I am not a cook.....yet. As the legend continues, Kenny gets knocked out...he gets up again.
But at that moment I was just another guy with two cans of beer. My masterpiece is yet to come.
P.S.: This happens to be my 50th post at this place. 50 special moments spent in Blogsville, good, bad, weird, got all kinds....and thanks to all the wonderful people who've dropped by, pretended that they've read all through the post and left a nice comment at the end...ok, just kidding!! So today I raise a toast, to the place where I came to lose my mind....and found out I wasn't the only one. Cheers!!
P.P.S. : I've started replying to the comments you guys leave on my posts taking a cue from the other bloggers (don't wanna end up being labeled snobbish!!). So if you're the kind of person who's into that stuff, just though I'd let you guys know...starting with my previous post. And Life's good......
