Wednesday, June 18, 2008

The Aftermath...& A Few Lil' Secrets.

It's been a whole month now, and I've been holding up much better than I'd thought I'd be able to manage. Single, sane and still surviving. And it seems to be getting better with time.I read this in a book once that time is the best narcotic for pain. Either the pain disappears when it runs its course or a person learns to live with it. At this moment in time something of both is applicable. The pain has not disappeared but there is less of it.The easy going slow pace on the work front is one thing I'm not really appreciating though, cause this is the one time that I could use some of the usual frantic pace involved to keep me occupied. Up until now I haven't told anybody personally about the events that transpired, and the two guys that somehow did manage to run across the blog (which goes to say a lot about how popular the blog is..) to find out have nothing more to offer than buying me a round of drinks so I can "let it out", as they put it. Which roughly means that I should get drunk and then bitch and whine about how things got screwed up. And that's why I haven't played along and don't plan on doing so, I've got nothing to bitch or whine about, I know where and how things got screwed up and I'm not pissed off at anybody. And one of the main reasons is I don't wanna be drunk when I'm sad. I've seen how pathetic I can get when I do that. Total don't wanna know.

Life has changed quite a lot too ever since the thing happened. There are obviously ways in which you expect things to change. Like dealing with all the emotional stuff you have to go through, analyzing what went wrong where and what the future holds. Then there are the slightly uncomfortable social situations where everybody starts wondering why you wanna hang out with them all the time all of a sudden, or how much you've started calling up your friends lately. Communications are affected. I haven't been online to talk to anybody for the whole month now. The Vodafone people must be wondering in awe if this month's phone bill was really mine, the guy who'd managed to sky-rocket his credit limit from a measly 3000 to a whopper of 10,000 bucks. Sleeping patterns are affected. The insomnia still prevails but for totally different reasons. It goes along the pattern of a Sine curve. At the beginning, fresh into love, you're getting no sleep, it's all just so exhilarating. Then as things start to settle down a bit, the amount of sleep you can manage increases...and then with the break-up it's back to zero. Entertainment is affected. Here it's mostly about what could trigger off the depression. Like I've been skipping almost three-fourths of the songs on my play list ( and now I've also got to learn why couples have "our song" and not "our freakin' whole god-damn play list"...once you've split you don't lose out on listening to all your fav songs)...cause they can be potential triggers. Ditto for movies, tv-shows or places you like to hang out at. And these "triggers" can also help in evaluating how much better you're the day I can sit and listen to "Almost Here" without feeling a thing I'll know I'm good.

And as always, I've tried to analyze what I did learn at the end of it all. And that would be that I've this tendency to get too complacent once I think that things are going along smoothly. And I haven't got what it takes to carry forward a long-distance relationship. That's just not my thing..... ok, I guess that about enough for now, about the whole thing, maybe I should move on to something else. Some of the guys on the blogroll have been seeming kinda down lately ( that's for Adi, Shyma and J with his visa problems) ....hope things are getting better now. time I think I should try writing about something more interesting... like why i love to hate celeb couples, or why i think blogging is one step away from being termed sadistic, or why i really feel that I have super-powers, it's just that the accident where they are revealed to me hasn't occurred yet. If you believe me in the last one, you'll probably me my arch nemesis. If you don't you'll probably wind up as my side-kick.

I saw this tag on Sam's blog and thought of trying it out. It's supposed to be about revealing ten secrets, but the way it's going I think it could be better described as "10 facts about me that I can think of now" or something like that..cause I didn't see anybody reveal any secrets, and some secrets can get ugly....and I only want you to see my favorite side of me and not my ugly side ( I know I shouldn't stoop as low as quoting songs word to word...but it just fits, doesn't it??), so I'll play it safe. Anyways here goes nothing...

1. At age 14 my parents wanted me to go see a shrink. And they still do.
2. When I'm around girls and I speak in Hindi, for some weird reason it comes out with this accent that I didn't know existed until it happened the first time....and I've no idea why it happens. Honest.
3. In my 6 years in Delhi, I haven't made any friends. Made contacts, made acquaintances... no friends.
4. I will never share my food with a person if he/she had the option of having the same thing I'm having.
5. I can get really uncomfortable talking to people on the phone.
6. I like going to sleep with stuffed toys next to me. Kinda feels good...
7. I'd never tell a girl that I love her just to get her in bed. However I think one night stands are okay, as long as there's no cheating involved.
8. I have really terrible luck. It's no secret, but it's getting tough to come up with ten of these things.
9. A woman's feet can be a major turn-on or turn-off for me. Call it a kink or foot fetish or whatever, but I check out the feet.
10. I think I've got a good sense of humor...but with a terrible sense of timing, so it doesn't help me in any way.

Ok, so that's ten for me. If anybody wants to do it, let me know once you're done. And I'll head out of here for now. Got loads of "Single in the City" articles to catch up on.... ;)