Saturday, May 24, 2008

The Trouble With Love Is...

After a relatively mind-numbing month spent contemplating whether I should resume the blog or let the "farewell" post stay up as I intended it to, events of the last week have given me some kinda reason to come back around. Rather ironically, if I may add.

So, I could quote a hundred songs about it or a million words....but at the end of it all nothing else but two words are enough to bring me to reality of it all. Su's gone. Forever. Period. No re-conciliations this time around, no second chances to make amends. Just like that, one day I wake up and it all vanishes. Not the love, just the chance to make it last. And in a way, Life, at least for the blog, has come a full circle. It all started with a heartache, then somehow out of nowhere came "the love", and now it's time for he heartache again, and it keeps getting worse each time. One place where practice doesn't really make perfect. And it's ironical, at least I feel it's ironical, maybe that's the wrong word to use in the context, because she'd said that she would stop talking to me if I didn't get working and put something up on the blog real soon.

Ok, I'll be honest. We both knew it'd come to this one of these days. But, and I'm gonna quote Su' herself over here...."In the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairytale." And along with that a hope, that somehow everything will go right. That somehow, some way, you can make anything possible. And that's exactly where I, or rather we, forgot the ground rules of how the real world functions. We don't always get things the way we want. And as the curtains fall down on another chapter of my life, I muse on what hurts the most. Deleting all the signs that a person you love more than anything else ever existed, or having to forget a whole year of your life just because every little memory reminds you of that person, or the feeling that a couple of years down the line, the other person may not even recall who you are, or at least pretend to do so.

Anyways, I know the best thing to do now is to move on. Just wish it was as simple as the "Fast-Track" advertisements. And as always, I did learn something, came out a little bit wiser. And at the risk of sounding totally goofy, I'd really like to thank Su' for one thing. For taking the scepticism out of me. For showing me that love is not over rated. That what I did believe to be "real life love" was actually feasible. That all the things people say about loving somebody more than one's own self, all that is possible, and not just in greeting cards. And for never complaining when she didn't get all that in return. I'll miss you, Red. And I have a feeling that some part of me will aways love you.

P.S.: If you're reading this, life without you really sucks....but then, you already know that.