Everybody's Changing... And I Don't Feel The Same....

I can't believe I let the dumbest post i must've ever written occupy the header position for this long..I really should've got to writing something much sooner. But that's the thing about not doing anything over a period of time...once you get used to it, it spreads over like a parasite to every single thing you're supposed to be doing. Who am I kidding?? I'm just plain ol' boring lazy. And because i've spent almost all of last month with the least amount of thinking required, i'll not be really surprised if this post knocks down my litereary skills by a few notches. Anyways it's time for me to put these thoughts buzzing around my head into alphabetic bodies and let them out. So here we go...

So it has been exactly a month since the last post...so that's one resolution i've not been living up to, writing more regularly, guess i'll have to work on that. But the past one month has been...hmmm...can't really find the right adjective here...has been amazing at times, at times has gone exceedingly bad...but the word i'm looking for here would be something akin to what a spiritualist would term "enlightning". Something about self-discovery and all that kinda stuff. It's been about new experiences, the exhilirataion of endless joy, the pain of regret...and about the unexpected, that the worse case scenarios are for real. And at this time, I can feel something's changed...in my life, not me if that's what you were hoping for. People just go through their lives looking for that moment where they feel they will be really and truly happy..and when they see an opportunity to get that perfect moment they'll do anything humanely possible to make that moment real, to seize it....and when you're living that little amount of time you've got, it's like the future and the past do not exist...nothing else's real except for that moment, you just have to have it, you crave for it's taste...and after a while when the moment is gone they'll keep it engraved in there memory, and keep looking back at it and hope that something just as good will come there way pretty soon...

And I don't know how much of what I just wrote made sense to you..but tough luck...I get to choose what I write!! Okay...i'm pretty much done with the philosophical talk, you can stop yawning now...

Last three weeks have been doing nothing but chilling out...started work this monday, new place, new people...and after such a long break, it takes a lot to get back in the groove. Had an amazing holiday...that's what I was talking about when I was blabbering on about new experiences and perfect moments and all that mumbo-jumbo. Had a couple of hit-n-run attempts by the motoring-maniacs of Delhi roads....have survived unscathed till now ( except for a bruise on my elbow...). And Delhi had been friggin' cold, but it's getting better now...but you already know that if you live here or watch the weather channel. Haven't read any new books...watched a hell of a lot of movies to discuss. Lots been happening in the world probably in the last month...but than I won't really comment on anything...i'm too politically correct and frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!! Well, atleast not today....

And today, incidentally, happens to be Valentine's Day...so Happy Valentine's Day to everybody...or the way I like to call it "Stupid-Cupid" Day. Hope all of you remembered your roses, n chocolates n stuffed toys n mushy cards....and yes i'm home..writing this blog on this evening...'cause I already had my V-day..which just shows it's not really about the date...the "14th of Feb"...it's just another ordinary day, just that we choose to make it special. Any day can be special...the stuff about special moments again. I guess I've come a full circle now, so I should wind it up for now. And hey...just for the heck of doing something interesting...with your comments let me know what you did on your Valentines'...that could be fun right? ;)

I'm So High!!

Well, one resolution of the New Year is already out the window. I'm bloody drunk right now, deleting and backspacing again to pretend that I'm not as drunk as I am...and I have no idea right now how much I am succeeding at that. Maybe I'll double check in the morning...when the hangover wears off. I'll also have to check how much I've hurt myself...when I tried carrying my cousin from the car to back home on the bed and fell down, because I can't feel the pain yet. And I'll also have to check how much of a fool did I make of myself in front of all the people...and in a counter-view, figure out why I did all of that. But right now I feel GOOD....despite knowing that a hell of a lot of trouble will follow tomorrow, or rather today morning...and that is why I'm up...so I can be up and out before anybody else takes it out on me. If I sleep I'm in hell of a lot of trouble. But right now this moment...I feel light...and I'm writing...which is a first...never been drunk and written before. And this could be a collector's item...cause tomorrow morning I could take down this post declaring is at totally nonsensical. But right now I feel so damn GOOD!! :)

Ok..here's a quote...from me of course...In retrospect all good times seem to be embarrassing at some point in the future..and minimum usage of accessories is recommended while being stoned in a high velocity vehicle...because things can go really wrong!!

And I'm off tomorrow....a Monday!! :P

And I love you all...I'm drunk remember?!! ;)

Thou Shalt Read This!!

Well, the new year's eve has come and gone. The first hangover of the new year has faded away. Surprisingly the mobile networks didn't get jammed up in the midnight hour...and all the mails and texts have been replied to, rather unimaginatively, I should add. (Got this one mail saying "2007 was great for me as I got married to the love of my life...hope it was same for you. If not, hope 2008 will be better"...Wtf??). And now to get to resolutions...I'm not sure if I stuck to the one I made last year..but that's not stopping me from making new ones. And you poor souls have to undergo the treacherous task of foraying through them. And since I have this weird habit of passing of really idiotic ideas for creativity...they're in the form of The Ten Commandments (Yeah..same as the bible...modified, of course!! ). Ten whole resolutions explained....so get out while you can....don't say I didn't warn you!! And in spirit of sharing that goes with the festive season, I left an extra commandment as the heading for this post...just for you. And let's get started...

THOU SHALT NOT BE JEALOUS
Pretty much self-explanatory....I will not let anybody make me jealous or get me down. The IIM-A grad friend who's three month paycheck will equal my annual renumeration, the dork in the mall with the oh-so-hot girlfriend, the bloggers (yeah..you people are here too) whose lives seem to be much more happening than mine, the cousin with his I-phone, the dog who lazes around at home all day, the guy who gets the larger slice of pizza, etc. etc....I will not be jealous or envy anyone of them. Nobody gets me down this new year. And in return (call it more of a payback!!) I'll try and do more things that make other people jealous...I know it's kinda mean, but there's some gratification in that....*evil grin*

THOU SHALT MAKE MORE FRIENDS
I need a more "happening" social life. After years of hanging around with the same bunch of people, I've realized this once they started moving out of town. I need more friends....and more importantly I need to keep these new friends around, give them a chance before declaring them weird in some way and forgetting about them. And also...I need to get to more girl friends...uhhh...let me re-phrase that, friends who belong to the female of the species, because there are some things you just can't get a guy to talk sensibly about, specially advice...n if I knew more girls I could've gone to one of those couples only New year bashes. (Any interested and interesting people, I think there's a contact me in my profile....although if you do contact me I'd think of you as a weirdo...but I'll try and go beyond that.)

THOU SHALT BE SOCIALLY RESPONSIBLE
I'm thinking it's about time I gave something back to the society...hence, the commandment. I'll not jump traffic lights when the traffic cops are around, I won't drink and drive while using public transportation, I will not litter if there are bins in a ten meter vicinity, I will get into queues for other reasons than trying to impress girls, I will spread peace..by not getting into any fights, because in all probability they end up with me paying the doc a visit...so no road-rage, no abusing people I don't know, no drunken brawls...might as well as run for President...

THOU SHALT GET A MAKEOVER
Six packs seem to be "in". Metro sexy has been "in" for much longer. And if that's what's in.. I've been out of loop. So it's makeover time. Go to the salon for more than just the monthly hair cut, take care of my skin, shave everyday, take an hour to pick out what I'm gonna wear, coordinated clothing and all, manicured finger nails, acting like a sissy et all...I'm going for it...am not shaving off my chest cause I've no plans of taking of my shirt in public anytime soon and ogling at your own body in front of the mirror falls under my definition of "perversive"...and there aren't any beaches in Delhi anyways. And I heard in this interview that SRK went ten days without food before the "Dard-E-Disco" shoot...and the chances of me starving myself like that are worse than odds of hell freezing over, so I dropped that out of the list. I'll be fit...I'll try not get a stroke eating all the burgers n fries. And I'll take the stairs to work...when the power's out and the back-up fails as well.

THOU SHALT "BE YOURSELF"
I still have to figure this one out. But I've been asked to do that a lot lately...well meant advices of course. I'll be myself (that surely means I won't change one bit..which is kinda against the motive here)...and I'll write for myself ( Yeah...I'm not writing for you!! Thpbthfffbb!!!)
*The weird word is me sticking my tongue out btw...pretty immature, I know..refer to Commandment no. 9.

THOU SHALT BE FINANCIALLY STABLE
I can picture my dad reading this and nodding his head in agreement. And as I learned from experience...money is a funny lil' thing....you can always find more ways to spend it than you can find of earning it. And there's always more to buy. So I need to work out a plan to manage my money. Get a financial planner, Hire a few accountants, invest in funds, ride the Sensex ride, prove DNA linkage to Bill Gates' inheritance, rob a bank...whatever comes first..It's all about money, honey!!
*Money makes people jealous....refer Commandment no. 1.
**More money, more friends...refer Commandment no. 2.
***Money fuels travel plans...refer Commandment no. 7.
****Money'll pay for makeover...refer Commandment no. 4...Jeez!!

THOU SHALT TRAVEL FAR AND WIDE
After a rather slow year...'08 will be the year of the traveling nomad (Ahem!! That's me...). I plan to get some traveling done in the new year and since my financial plans* don't really allow me much luxury to explore the world...I'll explore our amazing country...and if it's worse I'll explore Delhi. Either ways I'm clocking some miles. And traveling always makes for interesting reading and conversation topics.**
*Refer Commandment no. 6.
**Traveling to amazing places makes people jealous...refer Commandment no.1. And u make friends...that's no. 2.

THOU SHALT NOT GET HIGH
No..I'm not giving up drinking or anything. I'll not get high means I won't do it in the amateur-ish way I did it earlier. No more impromptu jigs, loud singing and cursing. I'll get high...it'll just be more subtle and sophisticated...Cheers!!

THOU SHALT WRITE
This means all you poor people are stuck with me for another year...and it gets worse, I'm going to be more regular, say a post a week or something, so there's more of me that you gotta bear. 52 posts of incoherent crazy thoughts...maybe more...probably less. Let's see...Oh!! And I'll write being myself and more maturely...whatever that means..

THOU SHALT ETC. ETC.
This one's a mixed bag....there were just too many things!! Thou shalt mind your own business, Thou shalt not make personal remarks on the blog, Thou shall floss every night, Thou shall get the bloody tattoo you always wanted, Thou shall love your work...or grin and bear it, Thou shall go to sleep at a saner time than 4 in the morning, Thou shall get your head checked, Thou shalt refrain from rambling on, Thou shall post smaller posts, Thou shalt buy me a large cheese dip pizza from Domino's..hey!! who wrote that in my draft??!!..Thou shall make a smaller list, Thou shall find something better to do.....

P.S. : The above statements are liable to change at any moment without prior notice and are not legally binding...Happy New Year everybody!!

Was It Santa In Town Last Night?

"Ho!! Ho!! Ho!!"
- St. Nicholas a.k.a Santa Claus

"There's hoes in tha room, there's hoes in tha car..
There's hoes on stage, there's hoes by tha bar
hos by near, an hos by far"
- Ludacris in "Ho"

Times couldn't have been worse for Santa...as if it was not enough that every year less and less kids believe in his existence...he's now dealing with the moral police and has to be politically correct. No more use of the "ho" greeting anymore, unless he wants to stand up to the women's rights activists and be accused of following the hip-hop slang and using derogatory terms. I say why stop there?? He shouldn't be allowed to try and make reindeers fly for his travels..call up the PETA guys somebody!! And he makes elves do all the work for him..won't that count as exploitation of physically challenged people? Breaking and entering into houses at midnight...not really socially acceptable behaviour there either. And with that huge beard and a weird hat..the CIA will probably ground his sledge under suspicion of engaging in terrorist activities before he flies smack into a high rise...with that kinda getup, who wouldn't suspect him?? A politically and moraly correct Santa shouldn't laugh out loud, change his get up, do all his work himself and buy a jet to do his flying..and as for the gifts, Fed-Ex them or something, he can't go around breaking into our homes right?

So you're wondering what's the point i'm trying to make here...the point is life's complicated enough as it is, and then we go looking for hidden agendas in things like these...agendas that probably never exist. I wish for simpler times...times when christmas was about friends, snowfall, christmas trees and candy. Nobody cared what Santa Claus' laugh sounded like. Simpler times..when I could sing the "Ba ba b***k sheep" rhyme without sounding like a racist. The three blind mice were just that, blind mice...nobody was poking fun at the visually handicapped. I wish people would let Santa be...he's a nice guy, we believed that all these years..let's not change that now. And I wish people would believe in the good,rather than hunt around for the bad.

Merry Christmas everybody !!

Do You Remember Me??

"Nothing can ever be as shocking as life. Except writing."
- Ibn Zerhani

I would like to add confusing, difficult and creative to this list as well. Life's tough..writing about it...tougher.But then I need this, cause these are the little mementoes of thought that I take out from my mind to preserve them here. And it's not like I didn't want to write all the time i've been gone..i've spent nights awake staring at the blinking cursor..but nothing really sprang up that I wanted to write about. Which is probably just as well. I like to write when I feel I need to write, follow my own humours..rather than enquire what the one who's reading wants to read. I write when I feel ther's something in my mind that needs to come out, is required to be shared..when it becomes a necessity I just can't ignore..that's when I write. But then..there's the recall value. We all crave attention. And the recall value is only as good as your last hit..and blog-wise speaking it's been a while since I made mine. That should explain the heading...if anybody remembers me, or remembers that I was gone...

Now to what's been going on while I was gone. This could get really long so i'll just run it by like the news-ticker at the bottom of your tv screen...
Works been keeping me busy, working on my last project before I take off to a new arena...but I won't elaborate on all this, the blog is about insights on life and stuff like that..never got any such vibes from work or the workplace. 3 people'll miss me, the other 124 will never know I was there. A few may even be really happy...never know.

Nidhi's wedding was on 24th November..it was fun, all the usual hooplah attached...new suits, new haircut (at the bride's insistence) . all the relatives, a little bit of responsibility thrown in. And I won't say I won't miss her...but then I can see it plain as day, she's really happy. So i'm happy.

Which brings me back to Su'...miss her more and more each day. I hate it that we have to live so far away...stupid geography. But things overall are going good...taking it to different levels as they say. We have our good times, our bad times, moments of paranoia, emotions tend to run haywire..but at the end of the day, I tell her I love her and that's what seems to matter.

Been hitting the books again, since there wasn't much writing to do so took to reading..."A thousand Splendid Suns" and "The Black Book". Simply Amazing. The first one I didn't expect much from when I started, but somewhere in the middle, Hosseini actually had me convinced that as a guy, even I could act like a bastard if I got the chance. The second one..i'm still on it..but I love the style of writing and it's got me hooked. Been reading chapters over and over to see if I missed out on anything. I love words...specially when they come together so beautifully.

Gave the big CAT on 18th morning. Was drinking beers 17th night. No comments. Period. Applying for IIM...Idiocy n Inefficiency Mandatory.And now i'll just blabber on the rest. Have been running into Docs and Dentists more than required lately and now i'm convinced of my theory that they are so nice in person because they know people are scared of them. People from my family have started bringing me wine and beers as gifts ( The beer was from Nidhi when she got back from her honeymoon!! )...so i'm out of the closet..alcoholism-wise. The lizard in my room has got a companion..I can't make out if it's a girl or guy or whatever...but i'm jealous. I still can't seem to bring myself to delete that last pic of Isha...i'm in a double minded state there..if I keep it for memory or delete it to get over her. And that's about it for now...and i'll try be more regular now on. A bit of social service messages at the end..apparently you can get arrested for keeping that naughty sms you got last night and is still in your inbox ( Welcome to India!! ) , and the drinking age is lowered to 21..so now 16 year olds will be served as well...

By the way..when does your own space cease to be your own??