After all's been said and done...

" Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear
Sealed with lies through so many fears
Lost from within, pursuing the end,
I fight for the chance to be loved again...."

I wonder what Amy Lee was thinkin' when she sang this. I have no idea why this is, but just when I had nestled into this cosy feeling that I was finally over her....last night I missed her like hell, and I couldn't sleep ( Yeah me!! must go and check where the sun rose this morning!). Almost twenty days after the whole episode took place, it all finally made sense to me...and to be honest it was something I had expected to happen, I knew I was trying to salvage whatever I could from a lost cause. Maybe that's the thing about it...it's much more tougher to give someone up than it is to lose somebody. Because then you feel you can do so much when you really can't, you want to change it all but there are no more oppurtunities to do so.

But then again I think about all the things that happened, and it makes me impugn all that I know.....hate gives us much more satisfaction than love ever could, love just gives you misery, cause you want people to reciprocate it and when they don't it hurts. Nothing like that with hate. Maybe it's just my fear talking, 'cause I feel like a guy who's been stripped off his blindfold after an eternity, but he just won't open his eyes to the world before him, because he's scared of the blinding light in front of him. And I will open my eyes...and as Amy put it so aptly " fight for the chance to be loved again." Amen to that!!